Sunday, October 26, 2014

Burning candies and overcoming OCD

My dad worked away from home for days and sometimes weeks at a time. When he would come home home, the table was lit with candles and wine was served. Dinner at our house was always festive.

When OCD got a hold of me in the mid 2000s, I became afraid of candles. If I manage to overcome my fear long enough to light some, I would put them outside of the house before leaving for the day because, I was afraid of them causing a fire .

One of the first assignments that my therapistgave me last winter , was to light a candle and let it burn itself out to see what would the happen. I used my favourite Kosta Boda votive candle holder which would make the flames appear to be dancing on the table. The assignment required me to leave the house everyday to go to work for the next week and leave the votive candle in the holder, I.e., I was not allowed to put the candle outside. Well, the house would still be there when I got home and it's still standing today.

Last night, we had friends over for dinner. In order to celebrate overcoming OCD, I decided to light candles and put them everywhere our guests would likely go in the house: kitchen, living room, dining area, bathroom. One of my guests noticed and commented immediately. I had told her awhile back to stop giving me candles as gifts because they were distressing to me. Now, I suppose that she might go back to giving me candles, but that's okay, I will embrace them and go with the flow.

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